If the truth is getting you down again, and you’re feeling just like your miserable old inferior self again … well, don’t fret, citizen ... just take a real quick peep inside a Dr. Peepers and you’ll start to feel brand new in seconds!
Just above this announcement sits the machine itself ... a black mechanical box barely two feet square complete with a dark shawl-like hood quite like those used by early 1900’s photographers.
To activate a Dr. Peepers, all any Jerkerite (depressed by the hard cold truth about themselves) has to do is step up to the machine and place the dark hood around their head ... which promptly activates a small T.V. viewing screen inside, which simultaneously activates a highly soothing pre-recorded voice that rolls out with the following pre-recorded worldclass soothing lie.
“Citizen,” the voice advises, “don’t be fooled; this is not a small T.V. viewing screen you‘re staring at ... no indeedy, it’s actually a small mirror instead ... and just look at how beautiful your face looks reflected in it today!”
(** The citizen staring into the Dr. Peepers may, in reality, be ugly enough to curdle an entire lava flow spewing forth from Mt. Kunga Foobi, but that doesn’t matter one whit, because the face displayed on the small T.V. viewing screen will always be smiling and beautiful and very youthful looking indeed.)
“And further more,” the voice will continue, “your intellect is really towering up nicely today as well.” (To reinforce this, a close-up of Einstein’s face will briefly fill the screen.)
“And the moral superiority of your position is equally unchallenged, too.” (In response to this, an old film clip of Alger Hiss testifying will flash briefly across the screen.)
“So, perk up, citizen” the Dr. Peepers will conclude soothingly, “because there is simply no one else on planet earth even half as perfectly superior as you.”
...at which point, the soothing voice will hush, the small T.V. viewing screen will go suddenly blank, and the citizen so deceived will remove his head from the Dr. Peepers, and go happily on about his particular self-deluded business of the day.